In The Naval

Contributed and compiled by Kathleen Kremer.

(The Pickles males, Angelica, and Chuckie are in a fishing boat; Drew and Stu are putting life preservers on the kids)

Angelica: Daddy, when we're on the ocean, can Water Sport Cynthia ski in the water?

Drew: No princess, you might lose her. There, this should keep them safe (finishes putting life preserver on Angelica, then glares at brother Stu) while I whip you at fishing.

Stu: Whip me? After I drop my classic hand tied white wizard lore with emu feather danglers into the briny deep, there won't be any fish left for you to catch.

Drew: Get real Stu. My high tech Dancing Anchovy 2000 is going to wipe the ocean floor with you.

Stu: Dream on. That piece of junk couldn't catch a rusty can.

Drew: Could so. I paid 300 dollars for this baby so there!

(Drew and Stu walk to the front of the boat)

Captain: Are those your boys?

Grandpa: Nope. Never had kids. (walks to kids at back of deck, who are near the bait well). All strapped in sprouts? Hah, that's good. You know, it can sometimes be dangerous out here on the high seas. (throws Angelica's doll and toy boat into the bate trap and demonstrates with her). Once I was washed overboard in a storm and was stranded on an island for fifteen days with nothing to eat but salt and sand. Luckily I was rescued by the navy seals. Brave, brave men, those navy seals. Have fun kids and stay out of the bait well. (walks away)

Tommy: Did you hear that Chuckie? Grandpa was wrestled by the "wavy seals."

Chuckie: Sounds messy.

Angelica: Not wrestled. Rescued! The "wavy seals" found him in the water when he was lost.

Tommy: Wow, I want to be brave like the "wavy seals" and rescue something too. Maybe we can play wavy seals with your boat Angelica.

Angelica: No, this is not a "wavy seals" boat. It is a water sport Cynthia super sports boat, and you can't play with it. Besides, Cynthia and I are going to ski.

(sits down, dangling her feet into the tank and putting her toys in the water)

Tommy: But Grandpa said to stay out of the fishy tank.

Angelica: He said you babies stay out of the fishy tank. It's only for grownup kids like me, so you can't play. Hmmmph.

Chuckie: Shoot. "Wavy seals" sounded like fun too.

Tommy: Aw, come on Chuckie. We'll find some other way to play. "Wavy seals" to the rescue!

(the kids leave Angelica)

(back to the front of the boat, where the three adults are fishing)

Drew: What is that at the end of your line. What, what is that?

Stu: Just look at your own line, will you? It's pathetic.

Drew: Haha, that thing will never catch a fish.

Stu: Oh yeah? In a few minutes, I'll be swimming in fish.

Drew: In your dreams.

Stu: In your dreams.

Grandpa: Now boys, this is supposed to be a friendly day of fishing. You're gonna ruin it with your competition. Besides, I'm gonna beat the pants off the both of ya.

(laughs, then falls asleep)

Drew: Haha, looks like the only place Pop is going to beat the pants off of us is in his dreams.

(Chuckie and Tommy approach Grandpa and look at the bait in a bucket next to him)

Chuckie: These baby fish look kinda scared. Maybe they want to go back in the big water.

Tommy: Hmmm, this looks like a job for the "wavy seals."

(they grab some fish and go to the back of the boat)

Angelica: Come on Cynthia ski! There's got to be a way to make more waves. (Tommy and Chuckie reach the back of the boat) Ah, Tommy, how long has it been since I told you I love you?

Tommy: Um, I'm not sure Angelica but-

Angelica: Well, I do, Tommy. And that's why I'm gonna let you play with my boat.

Tommy: Really! Wow, I love you too Angelica.

Chuckie: And so do I.

Angelica: Whatever.

(Tommy and Chuckie now are kicking the water in the bait tank to make waves for Angelica's toys)

Tommy: Do we get to play "wavy seals" with the boat soon Angelica?

Angelica: Not until you make waves. More waves.

Chuckie: I never "knowed" loving somebody was so much work.

Angelica: Ski, Cynthia, ski! Uuuh, this isn't like the TV marshalls at all.

(Angelica tries to get her toy to stay afloat, but it sinks to the bottom of the tank)

Chuckie: Um, now that Cynthia is "drownded", can we play "wavy seals" with your boat?

Angelica: No, you can't even touch my boat. I've gotta find some way to make her ski. (sees a real water skier pass by) Ahhhhh! I think we need a bigger boat. (ties Cynthia to a rope) There you go Cynthia. Now you're ready for action.

Chuckie: Yeah, but I'm not sure this is a good idea Angelica. What if you lose her?

Angelica: She'll be fine. She's Water Sport Cynthia, isn't she? (tosses Cynthia overboard; the doll stays afloat) Yay, go Cynthia. Wow, look! She's skiing. Go Cynthia.

Chuckie: Wow, she's doing it.

Drew: Oh, there isn't a fish within a hundred miles of here. (see fish below; Drew's radar starts beeping) Oh!

Stu: A fish! Get out of the way! He's mine!

Drew: Mine, mine!

Stu: Hey, where did he go?

(back to Tommy, Angelica, and Chuckie at the back of the boat)

Tommy: Wow, she's even better than the marshalls.

Angelica: Of course she is. She's Water Sport Cynthia. (laughs, then fish takes her doll) Hhh, Cynthia!

Chuckie: Angelica, the rope!

(the kids grab the unfastened rope but can't hold on; Angelica runs to her dad)

Angelica: No! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! A big fish ate Water Sport Cynthia!

Drew: Not now Princess. Daddy's gonna land a big one. Come to poppa fishy. Eat the dancing anchovy.

Stu: Ignore him! It's the white wizard you want.

Angelica: Rrrrrhhhhh.

(storms off)

(back to Chuckie and Tommy playing in the back of the boat)

Chuckie: I guess poor Cynthia is gone forever, huh Tommy?

(Angelica enters)

Angelica: Nuh uh. If my daddy won't do anything, I'm gonna save her back myself.

Tommy: We can help you Angelica. Uh, I'll bet if we use the "wavy seals" boat -

Angelica: You dumb babies. Keep your hands off of my boat. Help me catch some fish food. (grabs a fish in the fish tank and drops it) Aaaahhh! Ick, that's ucky. I don't wanna do that. What do you babies got to eat?

Chuckie: Well, I've got fuzzy Stuff from my pocket.

Tommy: Only some smushy graham crackers from yesterday.

Chuckie: This will have to do. (takes the cracker from Tommy and dangles it over the boat) Here fishy fishy. Hhhh, aaaaah! (a seagull knocks her down and takes the food) All right. No more "blister nice guy." What I need is a really really big hook. And I know just where to get one. (pulls the lever to lower the anchor) Ooo, it's Stuck. Stupid bad hook. (kicks it, and the anchor lowers and she falls over) Wooah, wooahh.

(back to the brothers in the front)

Stu: Is that him? Dibs, dibs on that fish.

Drew: Hey, hey, hey I saw him first. That's my guy. (the boat stops suddenly due to the anchor; Drew goes overboard). Woooah.

Stu: Cheater, cheater! You get back up here.

Captain: Hey, who let down the anchor?

(in the back, the kids are caught in rope)

Angelica: What have you dumb babies done now? Ohhh!

(Angelica's dad takes her downstairs)

Drew: You stay right here little missy until you had time to think about what you've done.

Angelica: But Daddy, it was the babies' fault. (Dad leaves) Now I'll never see Cynthia again. (cries) Cynthia! Cynthia!

(sees the fish eat her doll through the porthole in the room)

(Chuckie and Tommy watch the fish swimming behind the boat)

Chuckie: Poor Cynthia, now she really is gone forever.

Tommy: No she's not Chuckie. We can rescue her with the "wavy seals" boat.

(takes Angelica's toy boat out of the fish tank)

Chuckie: HHHuh, but Angelica said we're not supposed to play "wavy seals" with her boat.

Chuckie: It's Cynthia's only chance. Besides, it won't be for play. It will be for real. "Wavy seals" to the rescue!

(Chuckie and Tommy tie the boat to Grandpa's fishing line and throw it over the boat; Angelica enters)

Angelica: Hey, what's going on here. Chuckie and

Tommy: Angelica!

Angelica: What are you doing?

Chuckie: I, I know you said we weren't supposed to play with your boat.

Tommy: Uh but, but we decided to rescue Cynthia for you. See, when the big fish sees the boat, he'll know that the "wavy seals" have come to rescue and he'll get scared and let Cynthia go.

(the fish eats the boat)

Chuckie: Or maybe he'll just eat it.

Angelica: What? Now I've lost my "favoretist" doll and my "favoretist" boat.

(Grandpa wakes up)

Grandpa: By gum, I've got one! Ooohhhh hahahah.

Chuckie: Oh no, the fish has Cynthia and the boat. Now it wants Grandpa too.

Tommy: Grab him Chuckie.

Angelica: Get my boat back.

(all three kids grab Grandpa)

Stu & Drew: Hey, I got one.

(they catch two little fish)

Grandpa: Hehhh..

(struggling to get the fish on the boat)

Stu: Hold on pop. We're coming.

Drew: Hey, come on.

(the boys get the fish on board)

Grandpa: So, what did you boys catch?

Stu: Um...

(Stu and Drew knock their fish overboard with their feet so Grandpa can't see what they caught)

(back on shore; fish is hanging on a hook; everyone is standing near it)

Tommy: Uh, Angelica. We're really really sorry about Water Sport Cynthia.

Angelica: Now I'll never see her or my Super Sports boat again.

Grandpa: Hey, sprouts. Come over here and get in the trophy picture. So I guess you boys still have something to learn from your pop about the fine art of fishing. It's good old fashioned know-how that does the trick.

(Grandpa hits the fish; Angelica's doll and toy boat fall out)

Angelica: Cynthia!

Grandpa: Now, how did that get in there?

Chuckie: We did it, Tommy. We rescued Cynthia.

Tommy: Of course we did Chuckie. We're the brave brave babies of the "wavy seals."

(the fish falls from the hook, knocking Stu and Drew into the water)

Compilation (c) 1998 Kathleen Kremer.

Quotes (c) 1997 Viacom.

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