Contributed and compiled by Kacie Boskey.

(Tommy and his friends listen to the radio.)

Lil: I really like it when your grandpa listens to his talky-music box.

Phil: Yeah, 'cause then I get to sing. La,la,la,la,la!

Lil: I like to dance on my toes.

(Lil starts dancing, but falls down.)

Tommy: I just like to rock like my mommy does when we were in her rocking chair. What do you like to do, Chuckie?

Chuckie: (Stammers) Well, sometimes I like to close my eyes, then I listen to the words and 'magine a whole story.

(Chuckie giggles.)

Phil: Hey! I do that, too.

Chuckie: You do?

Lil: Yeah, like a picture book.

Phil: Exactly! Well, excepts it's got no pages a-a-and it's not really there.

Tommy: I guess we all do that. (looks at Dil) Do you think Dil 'magines a story when he listens to the words?

Chuckie: I don't think so Tommy. I-I mean Dil's nice and everything, but when we were teaching him how to color, all he did was eat the crayons.

(Phil gasps and hides a crayon he was about to eat.)

Tommy: Yeah, but maybe he could still 'magine a story. Right, Dilly? You can 'magine stuff when you listen to the music, can't you? Music?

(Tommy point to the radio. Dil mimics him.)

Dil: Diapee!

(Dil points to grandpa and mimics his snoring.)

Phil: Well, I don't know about the music, but I guess he likes your grandpa singing.

(Previous song on radio ends.)

Disc Jockey: (on radio) That was Come Home, Tom Bailey, and I'm sure he will. And now here's a ditty some of our listeners danced to from the turn of the century -- Bicycle Built For Two.

Lil: Hey, this is my favoritest song!

Phil: Nah uh! It's my favoritest song.

Lil: Is not, Phillip!

Phil: Is so, Lillian!

Lil: Well, I'm gonna show Dil what the song's about 'cause it's my favoritest song!

Phil: No! I am 'cause it's my favoritest song!

(A scene appears: Phil and Lil's house. Phil snatches a trike from Howard.)

(Phil & Lil sing to tune of Bicycle Built For Two:)

Phil: Lillian, Lillian. What are you trying to do?

You're so dumb if you think that this trike's for you.

(Phil stops the trike)

Lil: I told you it's mine already. But you can have our teddy.

(Lil hands Phil the teddy. He throws it aside.)

Both: We'll look neat upon the seat of a trike that is not for you!

Phil: Hey!

(Both start to fight over the trike.)

Lil: Phillip, Phillip! What are we going to do?

I don't wanna go on this trike with you.

Phil: We could just try to share it.

Both: Nah!

Phil: Or maybe our mom can tear it.

(Start to ride two trikes around their mom (Betty, in a welder's outfit with a blow torch) and the yard.)

Both: We will look neat upon the seat of a trikes that are not for you!

Phil: I said ......


(Song ends. Grandpa comes in and looks at his watch.)

Grandpa: 2:00? I'm missin' my favorite medical show. And just when they're about to cover insomnia.

(Unplugs the radio and carries it to his room.)

Lil: Ahh, your grandpa's taking the talky-music box away.

Tommy: Well, Dil's not paying attention to music, anyway.

Chuckie: Maybe he just needs a song that's about something he knows.

Phil: Like what, Chuckie?

(Chuckie pulls out a birthday card.)

Chuckie: Like this.

Tommy: Ahh, Chuckie, that's just a birthday card.

Chuckie: It's not a regular birthday card. This is the specialest birthday card I ever got. My daddy gave it to me and it plays our favoritest song.

(Chuckie opens the card; the card starts playing the music of Pack Up Tour Troubles. Chuckie hands it to Dil.)

Chuckie: He'll understand this song. It's about putting away your troubles so you can be happy.

Tommy: Mmm, I'm not sure if he knows what troubles are.

Chuckie: Sure, he does. Every kid's got troubles.

(Dil starts chewing on Chuckie's card. Lil notices this.)

Lil: I think he likes it, Chuckie.

(Lil points at Dil.)

Chuckie: (gasps) It's not for eating, Dil.(Chuckie grabs the card from Dil.) I guess he needs me to sing the words.

(Chuckie's room appears. Most things appear larger or smaller than real life. Chuckie puts away a giant teddy bear and closes drawers.)

(Chuckie sings Pack Up Your Troubles:)

Chuckie: Pack up your troubles in your old kid bag and smile,smile,smile!

(Grandpa's teeth, a frog, and a spider appear.)

Eww! Yuck! Blah! Ahh!

Scoop up the scary things that make you sad and put 'em in a pile.

(Drops them in a kit bag. A scary dog pops out. Chuckie lifts his shovel. The dogs whimpers and pops back in. Aunt Miriam appears out of the closet.)

(spoken) Hi, Aunt Miriam!

(Aunt Miriam hugs & kisses Chuckie; Chuckie tosses Aunt Miriam into the bag.)

Oh, no! Ahh! This stuff's never gonna fit!

(Mr. Friend walks out of the closet.)

(Chuckie screams and throws Mr. Friend into the bag.)

(back to singing) Everybody gets "ascared" sometimes,

(Chuckie puts his potty and a dust bunny into the bag.)

only at a while.

(Chazz enters with another kit bag.)

(spoken) Come on, dad!

(Chuckie giggles; he throws his kit bag into a garbage truck.)

(sings) So, pack up your troubles in your old kid bag and smile,smile,smile, oh yeah! Smile, smile....

(Scene breaks like glass when Angelica barges in)

Angelica: What are you yelling about, Finster?!

Chuckie: Uh, I was singing to Dil.

Tommy: We're trying to show Dil about music, Angelica.

Lil: Yeah, we wanna see if he can make up pictures in his head and make-believe it.

Angelica: Well, how do you 'spect him to do that if he has to listen to Finster's dumb song?You gotta sing a song about stuff he likes like candy or cookies or toys.

Chuckie: I don't think I know a song like that.

Angelica: That's why you babies are lucky to have me around.

(Angelica displays a tape player)

Angelica: Babies and gentlemen, interducing the 'mazin' Angelica Pickles!

(Angelica turns on the tape player.)

(A palace with toys appears.)

(Angelica sings her version of Toyland:)

Angelica: Toyland! Toyland! Get out of my way in Toyland.

(Angelica snatches a teddy bear from a girl.)

While you're in my toyland, keep your fingers off, it's mine.

Toyland! Toyland! I'm never bored of Toyland.

While you're in my toyland, you gotta give me all your toys!

(Angelica grabs more toys away.)

Toyland! Toyland! I'm in charge of Toyland.

It's not little girl or boy land. I'm the princess of the place!

(Phil and Lil give presents to Angelica.)

Toyland! Toyland! Dumb babies can't go to Toyland.

(Angelica grabs toys away from Tommy and Chuckie.)

It's only for the mostest beautiful girl in the world. (Sighing) Ah, yes!

(Song ends. Angelica is seen with a bunch of toys.)

Tommy: Do you like that song, Dilly?

(Dil looks at his rattle.)

Phil: Hey! He's thinkin' about it!

Angelica: Told ya!

(Walks toward Dil. Dil throws his rattle at her, smacking her on the head.)

Angelica: Ow!

Dil: Yucky!

(Dil giggles.)

Lil: I don't think he liked your song very much, Angelica.

Angelica: Well, you can't except a dumb,dinky baby that just burps and drools to know anything about music.

Tommy: That's not true, Angelica! He may be kinda yucky and he does sorta drool a lot. But, he can do lots of neat stuff,too. Well, I'll bet he didn't like those songs 'cause, (stammers) 'cause they're not about him. And I got the perfect song to prove it.

(Tommy grabs a music box, sets it down in front of Dil, and opens it. It starts playing music.)

(A stage at a lounge appears with "Ruggettes" banner. Tommy and his friends appear on the stage.)

(Tommy, Chuckie, Phil & Lil sing. Tommy is lead; Chuckie, Phil & Lil are backup.)

Tommy: You make me like you if you knew I was gonna... I was gonna.

You make me hug you even and I didn't really wanna cause you ate a nanna.

Sometimes you make me happy, sometimes you make me sad.

And sometimes, Dilly, you make me really mad!

(Dil drops a bowl of baby food on Tommy's head.)

But even when you gots a stinky diapee,

(The backup appear in back of Dil, plugging their noses as if something stinks.)

you're still a little brother that I care for.

I guess you make me love you! Ooh-hoo!

(Dil and Tommy hug; song ends.)

(All babies gasp and look at Angelica, who was yawning. Tommy's angry. Dil starts moving around.)

Chuckie: Tommy, look. I think he's doin' it. I think he's imaginin' something.

(Dil grunts and sighs afterwards and giggles.)

Tommy: Oh, I think he's doin' something else.

Phil: (Catching Dil's stench) Whoa! Tommy's right.

Angelica: Told ya that little blob'll never 'preciate music. (Shouts) Aunt Didi! We gotta stinky baby in here!

(Didi comes into the room)

Didi: Whoa! I guess someone does need a diaper change. Come on, sweetie.

(Didi picks up Dil.)

Now how did you babies get this?

(Picks up the music box and puts it back up. Didi goes to Tommy and Dil's room to change Dil's diaper.)

Angelica: Yep. Just another dumb baby hoggin' up the air from us smart kids. Ha! And they thought he could 'magine stuff in that little jelly-bean shaped head of his.

(Angelica leaves.)

Tommy: I guess Angelica's right. Dil just can't 'magine music stories like we do.

(Tommy & Dil's room appears. Didi has just finished changing Dil's diaper.)

Didi: There. Isn't that better?

(She touches his nose. Dil giggles.)

Would you like to rock with mommy for a little while?

(Didi starts to rock in rocking chair and sings Beautiful Dreamer; this is sung "a capella" (without music):)

Didi: Beautiful Dreamer, wake onto me.

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee.

(Close-up of Dil & Didi; the background changes color.)

Sounds of the roodwore are heard in the day.

Love by the moonlight have all passed away.

(Dil grows sleepy; we see Didi from Dil's point of view.)

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng.

(Dil closes his eyes and starts to imagine bands of color.)

Beautiful Dreamer, wake onto me;

(Bands of color combine to form a squiggly picture of Tommy's head.)

Beautiful Dreamer, wake onto me.

The End

Compilation ©1999 Kacie Boskey.

Quotes ©1999 Viacom.

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